My childhood was filled with lots of memories as i was very childlish. I would play with children younger than me. This didnt change when i gained admission into junior secondary school. Sometimes i would forget my school bag in school. It was only with God’s miracle that i used to pass (God loves me).
All these changed when i got to the senior class. My friends were not like me, they were “big girls” and were always neat, so i decided to emulate them. Boys were all over them, not that i was ugly but they still considered me a child. I didnt exactly know what dating meant at that time, i sha knew that all my friends had boyfriends and they used to leave me to go and meet them. They didn’t talk in open spaces where people would see them and i thought, maybe that was what dating entailed.
During the holiday, “2GO” was the most popular application then and if you weren’t on 2go then, you would be considered as not classy. Luckily for me, i was on “2go”. So one day, a guy chatted me up and i was happy that i was going to have a boyfriend too. He was my senior in school ( i was in ss1 and he was in ss3). He told me how he had always admired me and how he would like to me be his girlfriend. I didnt care whether he liked me or not, i just wanted a boyfriend like my friends so i accepted to be his girlfriend. We would chat and chat(sometimes on Facebook and othertimes on 2go). We both couldn’t wait to resume so we would see each other. I was more excited because i would finally be going to secret places like my friends too.
First day of resumption arrived, and i was very nervous. I would be talking with my boyfriend face-to-face and not on any social media app again. I didn’t tell anybody i was dating him and i made him promise me too. I just couldn’t put myself to telling my friends i was in a relationship( i was just too shy). I was very beautiful on the first day and i needed no soul to tell me.
As i was catching up with my friends , he just passed by my class. My heart was beating fast and i was sure some of my friends noticed. I couldn’t stop thinking about him all through the school hours. I couldn’t wait for us to go to secret places to talk too. After school hours, he sent a junior to call me and my heart went “skrrr pa pa” I went to meet him at the junior block and i couldn’t even face him. He was laughing and i knew i had embarassed myself( that was how shy i was). All through the conversation, i was just looking down and trembling and i couldn’t wait for the conversation to be over.I was relieved when he told me he was leaving and i quickly replied “me too”. He held my hand and he said “wont you even hug me atleast?I had never been in that kind of situation so my fear multiplied. I thought i was going to get pregnant and many other assumptions ran through my mind. I told him i couldn’t hug him and he agreed reluctantly.
When i got home on that day, many thoughts ran through my mind. “Is that what my friends do with their boyfriends or do they do worse”. To me, hugging a guy was such a big deal, i thought hugging should be saved until your are married. I started thinking what if he demands for a kiss, i would just slap him and call him a rapist. I also decided that if he asked for any thing again, i was going to break up with him.
We continued meeting at the usual point. We would talk and talk but i was always scared somebody would see us. He didn’t asf for anything from me again and i respected him more. Along the line, i realized that i was not attracted to him, i just like him as a friend. I also thought that he loved me and would do anything for me. I didnt realize dating was something serious, i thought “boyfriend” “girlfriend” was just a title. I decided i was going to stay away from him so that he would forget me.
I started giving excuses anytime he demanded to see me. I told him to let us stop meeting each other. I found an excuse: There was a day a teacher caught us at our usual spot and he had been looking at me like a bad girl ever since. He reluctantly agreed and i could see that he was very hurt.
I thought we both agreed to not telling anyone we were dating but i didn’t know he told his friends about me already. I would lie to them whenever they asked me if i was dating him. I didn’t know i was making a fool of myself. I started telling lies just to make them agree that we weren’t dating and i would think they believed not knowing they were always mocking me behind my back and already tamed me a liar. His friends did it to the point that they all added me on 2go and would take turns in asking me if i was dating him to see what i would say and then screenshot it and send it to one another(men are truly scum).
I was really childlish to had believe my so-called boyfriend wouldn’t tell his friends. I was so devastated when i heard what his friends had been saying about me. I became very dull in school but i kept whatever happened to myself. I didnt know the news had gone viral and i was just keeping an “open secret”. My friends were really mad at me and i apologised for being a bad friend.
I realized that i didn’t need a boyfriend as it wasn’t just for me. I couldn’t handle all the paparazzi that cane with it. I realized that i didn’t know about life enough and my so-called boyfriend taught me “nobody should be trusted”. I broke up with him after and i stopped talking to him. I also came to realize that people would always talk about you and you just have to ignore them.
I moved on and the news soon died down. Thank God i didnt hug, kiss and have sex with him. I still remained a good girl afterall. He was expelled not long after because he tried to rape his new girlfriend. Thank God i broke up with him!
Lol. I was such a naive and childlish girl but now i have learnt a lot. You dont date for fun, dating entails a lot. I have become wiser now.peole come to meet for relationship advice.I just think all men are the same😣😣
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